Sleazy Dude, All Like, “Whaaaat? I had pizza for lunch.”
A few weeks ago I was having a drink with a friend of mine; we were talking about relationships when he said, “I am actually surprised that you married an Italian man. You don’t seem like the type of woman who would go for one.” I asked him to explain further, he sighed and said, “Well, they are famous for being very high maintenance and for being unfaithful.” I wasn’t offended because it’s kind of true, my Italian husband is higher maintenance than any of the American guys I dated, and it wasn’t the first time someone had brought up the “cheater” stereotype. Announcing that I’ve married an Italian man always inspires two different responses, either, “Oh my god you’re so lucky, they are so romantic!” or, “Why would you do that? You know he’s going cheat on you.” I find both stereotypes to be kind of true and kind of funny. Yes, my husband is romantic, but he doesn’t call me, “your majesty,” and take me on dates on the back of a unicorn. At least not yet, I’m still waiting. As for the other thing, well, there’s no way to ever know.
Italian men do seem to cheat a little bit more than American men, at least statistically. But only slightly. Statistics vary depending on the study but most of the studies showed that the infidelity rate for men in Italy is around 70%, whereas the rate for men in the United States is around 55% (you bastards!). Curious as to why the rate might be higher in Italy, I interviewed random Italian men in Florence. One of the men, a married man, said that he believes the statistics are high in Italy because there are “no real consequences for cheating.” He could be right since the divorce rate in Italy is only 11%, which suggests that a lot of people cheat but don’t end up divorcing over it. Does that mean that cheating is considered okay in Italy? Of course not. But maybe divorce is worse than cheating? While in the US only 33% of relationships will continue after the discovery of infidelity.
It’s not just men who cheat. Women entering the workforce has increased the infidelity rate for women in Italy which is quickly catching up with the men. The workplace seems to be the most common place for finding a lover. According to the marriage association of Italy, 60% of cheating happens at work during the lunch break. Your partner might be eating more than a pizza for lunch.
It’s possible that Italian culture is more lenient towards cheating because looking good, or maintaining “bella figura” is more important than being honest.
So how does one marry an Italian man knowing that he is statistically inclined to stray? How do you marry any person knowing they might stray? How the hell do I know? Game Theory proposes a few different theories regarding defense mechanisms to prevent infidelity. One of them suggests that punishing infidelity harshly is an effective defense mechanism. My husband has admittedly cheated on most of his ex-girlfriends because according to him there was no real reason not to. I asked him if he would cheat on me and he said, “Why? So I can get divorced and possibly get murdered? It’s not worth it.” Does that mean he won’t do it? No. Statistics are never completely accurate and the national average doesn’t mean that my husband will for sure run off with his secretary during his lunch break either. But, just in case, I should mention that Lorena Bobbitt is a sort of hero of mine.
An iconic photo of the John and Lorena Bobbitt event in the United States in June 23, 1993 showing the trial. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Related articles
- Infidelity Statistics (statisticbrain.com)
- Signs Of Cheating Spouse | “How To Catch Your Cheating Lover” Teaches People Innovative Tips To Discover The Truth – Vinamy (prweb.com)
- Austerity Making It Harder to Cheat on Your Wife (truthdig.com)
- Summer revealed to be peak season for infidelity (dailymail.co.uk)
