Parent-in-law

  As most of you know, I’ve been in Cassino with my in-laws (HOLY FUCKING SHIT!) for nearly two weeks now. We’re staying here to spend time with everyone before we head to the US for the holidays and to…

My father was born in Iran. He moved to the US when he was eighteen and I came along shortly after that, as my father says, “if I even touch a woman she gets pregnant, it’s a gift, mostly.” Judging…

1. Everyone is trying to steal from me. This includes children, animals, and department stores. 2. The best way to get something done is by going through a long network of connections. “I know a guy,” means, “this will take…