Valentines Day: Seducing Your Partner The Italian Way

“If you fill a room with women, Italians, and men from the US, the American men would have no chance. That’s just a fact.” -My Super Humble Husband


I wouldn’t say that all Italian men are romantic because that wouldn’t be true and “romantic,” implies a lasting quality (many spouses and long term partners will tell you that the romance is short-lived), but I feel confident in saying that Italian men are pretty damn good at seduction, maybe even the best, rivaled only by the French in both skill and dedication.

Whether or not you are into grand romantic gestures, there’s a chance that whatever they’re up to will still work, especially if you’ve had a glass of wine or two. Both cynics and romantics alike have fallen for the Italian man’s swagger, shameless ability to go way over the top, and magical gift for making their potential partners feel very, very special, even if they aren’t. I’ve spoken with both women and men who’ve said that they believed they would marry their one-night-stand, all the way up until they never heard from the guy again.

As I mentioned in the first paragraph, I’m not saying that all Italian men are romantic, perfect partners. That has to be determined on an individual basis. Where there are romantic, wonderful, brilliant Italian men, there are also many entitled, spoiled, man-children who can’t even operate a washing machine. So, not saying that Italians are totally perfect, but I am saying that seduction seems to run deep in the veins of their culture, it’s a game, and it comes very natural to a lot of them.

My husband is a prime example of this. He’s got his annoying qualities, like I do (only mine are insane and endearing where his are just asshole-ish), but what I can definitely give him credit for is that there is something totally charming about him. He’s quiet, thoughtful, and observant which made him very effective in the getting girls department (He was kind of a whore).

He’s such an effective charmer at that he managed to get me to marry him which was not that easy. I had high hopes of being a cat lady, only replace “cats,” with dogs and Capybara. Capybari. Multiples Capybaras. However you say it. He busted out all the stops, chasing me through a piazza with a guitar, sending books to my art studio with inscriptions, making my friends dinner, bringing my friends ice cream, showing up with wine….ah…what a babe (dear Francesco, WTF happened? Asshat….I love you).

For all the guys or ladies out there who are trying to do something super romantic for their special someone today, I give you these 5 ideas for maximum romanticism. My husband inspired this list, these are some of things he did our first few weeks of dating. They were kind of shocking/weird and awesome. North American humans are really not used to this magnitude of ooh-la-la, so while we might be rigid and awkward, we’re probably impressed.

5 Ways To Charm Your Partner The Italian Way

  1. Show up to her place with wine (after you make a date, obviously, don’t just manifest yourself without warning…women need time to shave and brush their teeth).
  2. Bring Items to cook dinner. Ideally something you’ve practiced that is somewhat impressive and/or doesn’t suck.
  3. Set up a romantic music playlist in your phone. Play it while you cook. By romantic I’m thinking Italian, french, or Jazz…not DMX. Rap can be political but I think we can all agree it’s not romantic. Telling shorty to “back that ass up,” is sending the wrong message if you’re going for high-points and charm.
  4. Make sure that dessert is part of this, chocolate, or something sexy like fruit dipped in chocolate. A pudding snack pack doesn’t count.
  5. As a gift bring either a) a book with a thoughtful inscription or b) an item of clothing that takes research, time, and is totally badass. Not lingerie! That is a gift for yourself and totally doesn’t count.

Buona Fortuna!

This is a COSI POST! Check out my friends and partners in crime to read their hilarious, moving, awesome Valentines Day Post:

Sex Lies And Nutella: Be My Italian Valentine

Unwilling Expat: Searching For San Valentino

Girl In Florence: When The Best Answer Is “It’s Complicated.”

Married To Italy: Italian Sex Slang

The Florence Diaries: What it’s Like to Fall in Love with Italy

Rick’s Rome: Gods, Saints, and Other Valentines Myths


V-Day works to stop violence against women. Please, check it out, spread the word, and be stoked on your vagina. Cause it’s badass. Remember to teach your daughters self love and your sons respect. A better tomorrow…


12 thoughts on “Valentines Day: Seducing Your Partner The Italian Way

  1. “I’ve spoken with both women and men who believed they would marry their one night stand right up until they never heard from the guy again”…… yep that has happened to me, fairly recently as it would happen… *sighs longingly* Happy Valentines day!

  2. Based on my own experiences, it is in our blood. As an Italian-American a lot of what you say about your hubby and men in Italy rings true for those of us born in the US as well. Thanks for another great post, I always laugh out loud at your perfectly snide comments!

  3. Pingback: Searching for San Valentino | Unwilling Expat

  4. Oh that Italian wooing is indeed a force to be reckoned with. My now husband wrote me a poem in a text message days after meeting me that I still remember word-for-word 14 years later. Very effective.

  5. Pingback: Gods, Saints, and Other St. Valentines Myths

  6. Your husband needs his own regular column on your blog. He’s a font of cultural knowledge. Every time you quote him, or explain a particular episode from your courtship, I get just a little closer to the “truth” about the male/female dynamic in Italy.

  7. Pingback: How Pecora Nera wooed Mrs Sensible or a Valentines Post ♥ ♥♥ | Englishman in Italy

  8. Pingback: The search for sex in Italy: 6 Italian slang sayings. | Married to Italy

  9. Pingback: Be My Italian Valentine: “Viva l’amore – abbasso i sedili” | Sex, Lies, & Nutella

  10. Most of my Italians friends are sweet and super romantic. I really like your 5 tips for maximum romanticism, they’re just simple yet so romantic. Oh, and I enjoyed reading your post very much. As usual, it’s so hilarious.

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