Home stories “Where The Hell Have You Been?” Great Question.

“Where The Hell Have You Been?” Great Question.

written by M.E. Evans July 21, 2014

Things have been slow on Surviving for the past few weeks because I’ve been busy making large decisions which usually result in me getting drunk, blasting Persian belly dance videos, and embarrassing my husband in front of the neighbors by running into the front yard and proclaiming my undying love for him at five p.m. upon his return home. I’ve decided to take the giant leap from free wordpress to bluehost. Guys, I’m kind of terrified of change but I keep hearing that it’s the better thing to do. Plus, running a blog is expensive and time-consuming so it’s kind of getting to that point where I need the blog to be able to move out, get a job, and take care of itself financially, or GO TO FUCKING COLLEGE. Seriously.

I historically have responded to advertisers with, “You don’t even really read my blog, liar, but I’ll consider letting you talk about GAMBLING on my ITALY BLOG, if you send me a capybara wearing a knitted Christmas sweater.” So far, nobody has delivered Dwayne and alas my site is free from mail-order-prostitutes and gambling sites. Some of you are disappointed, I know. Then Francesco was all, “You know you could actually do ads from bloggers and things you really like, right?” And that’s why he’s an engineer and I’m a wino (and also why i’m fun and he’s less fun).  So, if you come here in the next few days and things seem crazy or weird or it says my site is “UNDER CONSTRUCTION,” you know why, it’s because elves are carrying my blog to a new home (that’s how it works, right?). It should only take 24 hours and most of you probably won’t notice anything.


So when I’m not moving my blog or having a panic attack…I’m trying to get my ass to the Blogher conference in San Jose (I’m SO FUCKING EXCITED!), and I’ll be doing a reading In Salt Lake City, Utah August 7th, 8th, and maybe 9th. The reading will be at a few events with artists/writers, and we’ll be raising money for some non-profits that we love.

Also! This is particularly terrifying: I just co-wrote a screenplay and am waiting to hear back from Sundance (please pray for me or otherwise BRIBE SOMEONE.)

I also recently traumatized my nephew by telling him he couldn’t come to my birthday party. Apparently that’s a really big insult to a 3 year old.


I did a podcast interview with the badass D.J. Paris from ThoughtsFromParis.com (NOT a travel blog, “Paris” is his last name). We met on Twitter a while back by engaging in mutal stalking/harrassment. I’m pretty sure you guys will be into his blog. You can find the podcast interview featuring M.E. Here: Bloggers Are Weird Series. I recommend turning it into a drinking game by taking a sip of wine every time I seem to confuse myself. I’d have a few bottles ready.

I’ve done a recent interview with the gorgeous Rochelle from Unwilling Expat: Blogging Around The World With Surviving In Italy. 

You can also (seriously, are you sick of me babbling about myself yet?) catch another interview on Girl In Florence: Locals I Love, Misty From Surviving In Italy.

I have a freakish amount of posts coming soon. And guys? I feel like some of them are going to be really…uhm, ranty.


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bellanowebstudio July 21, 2014 at 3:52 pm

ok, stalker here….let me know when you are in Salt Lake so I can come and stalk you. I mean listen to your reading. 🙂

Kari July 21, 2014 at 4:59 pm


M.E. Evans July 22, 2014 at 1:42 pm

haha! Thank you!

Helene Zenia July 21, 2014 at 11:13 pm

thanks!  LOVE your rants, etc.  The blogger conference is in San Jose California?  Near me!

Best, Helena

M.E. Evans July 22, 2014 at 1:43 pm

Yes! That’s where it is! I might not make it now because of another reading but I’m going to try. 😉 Great area! Love San Jose!

Michelle July 22, 2014 at 12:05 am

Congrats, M.E. So pleased to hear about your success. I love your writing. You totally inspire me! In bocca al lupo for the screenplay 🙂

M.E. Evans July 22, 2014 at 1:44 pm

That’s so sweet! Thank you so much Michelle. That really means a lot.

Marti Bullard. MAJ, USA Ret. July 22, 2014 at 12:12 am

Hi M.E.
Just wanted to say how much I enjoy your blog. I, an American retired army officer, former professional musician and resident smartass of
the family really appreciate your insight into Italian family dynamics. I married an Italian family, including wife, In 1997 and immediately absconded with her to America. Needless to say my first impression was not met with great enthusiasm by papa. Though Nina and I live in Florida most of the year, we visit our house and family here in Calabria each year. We are currently in country and trying to figure out if we should buy a car since we keep spending more and more time here each year.. Since buying anything seems to require imput from the entire family, your blog it has really helped me understand the dynamics of family interaction. Just when I think the entire family is going totally postal and is getting ready to burn down the village, we take a break, have some coffee, and go for a walk. How anyone makes a decision in this country is beyond me. I have been unable to learn to speak fluent Italian though I understand more than most think.
What I learned first is not to enter into family discussions without at least two bottles of Johnny Walker Scotch so I can toast each family member who seems to alternately scream in my face, say copese(sp?) laugh, and then yell something unintelligible at someone else. Needless, to say, I stay pretty trashed during my Italian vacation.

M.E. Evans July 22, 2014 at 1:46 pm

haha! I laughed out loud reading this. You’re life sounds like mine! You’re way ahead of me though, it took me a few years to learn that the most important thing to do is GRAB ALCOHOL before any interactions. The family dynamic of “we get a say in everything” never gets easier but the alcohol certainly helps to turn down the screaming into a dull buzz.

Packing my Suitcase July 22, 2014 at 8:29 am

hahaha can’t wait to see the upcoming posts and the new website!! I will cross my fingers for the screenplay 😀

M.E. Evans July 22, 2014 at 1:47 pm

Thank you! I need all the finger-crossing I can get. 😉

Packing my Suitcase July 23, 2014 at 1:43 am

you’re welcome 😀

Natasha July 23, 2014 at 9:29 am

You are freaking hilarious. I love your insight into living in Italy and I love how you write with so much sarcasm and such a carefree attitude. I lived in Rome for a year and I enjoy writing about that in my blog (although I’m not as gifted in the humour department as you). I recently wrote a post about travelling vs. living in Rome. I’d love to see what you think! Does Florence differ at all? Let me know…my link is here: http://arestlessnomad.wordpress.com/2014/07/22/travelling-vs-living-in-rome/

Ale July 27, 2014 at 4:50 am

I have spent a few hours of my Sunday morning reading through your various posts, your writing is so engaging! Added to my bookmarks!:)

Jason P. Brennar August 21, 2014 at 3:12 am

Wait…so you’re leaving wordpress?

M.E. Evans August 21, 2014 at 8:58 am

I’m staying with wordpress but transferring over to the paid site, the wordpress [dot] org.

Jan Marie March 7, 2015 at 12:37 am

Misty! I’m sure you already know about this, but I found it today and instantly thought of you: http://animalssittingoncapybaras.tumblr.com

Found your blog the other night in my rampant searches for worthwhile flee-the-country info. Much obliged for your amusing offerings. Hope to see you in Florence by this time next year!

Wishing you many Dwaynes-to-come,


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