M.E.

About The Blog

Hello!  So now you’re here. Maybe you’re wondering why? It might be because google knows how bad you want to move to Italy or that you’re planning to vacation here soon, or for some reason you’re drunk and searching for information on Zebra sex or how great it would be if I personally owned a Capybara. Regardless, you’re here. A little bit about the blog.

I started  keeping a journal and writing short stories about my life about ten years ago. I wrote about  that time a bum stabbed me with a spork on the bus, or the time I was sort-of kidnapped, or the time my mom told me about my “mostly” immaculate conception. Then after college I decided that it was time to move abroad. If I’m honest I just needed the experience. I wanted to live another life, speak another language, live completely independent of everything I’d known. I basically wanted to complicate the shit out of things. I moved to Italy to work on a masters degree, fell in love (super cliché), married an Italian man, and stayed.

I write about communication and how he calls sheets “shits” and beaches “bitches”, and culture like that time his mom ironed my thongs and romance like that time he chased me around a piazza with a guitar after we had a fight. This blog honestly documents my journey as an outsider trying to maintain myself while trying to fit in to my surroundings. I share everyone about how you can make the move to Italy yourself and what to expect, I cover my daily life, social commentary, news, art and many things pop-culture. It’s not a blog about the magic of Italy and how epically awesome it is because that’s what all of the other travel blogs do. Some days are magical and others, well, others are shit. If you want to know exactly what it’s like to actually live here this blog is for you.

 

Your First Time Here? I’ve Put Together Some Of My Most Popular Posts For You To Start With:

10 Reasons That I’m Surprised That Someone Married M.E.

In Italian Families, Leaving The Table Is Like Announcing You’ve Eaten A Child 

25 Things I’ve Learned About Italy 

Marriage Classes Brought To You By The Catholic Church

Christmas In Italy 2013: The Time The Blowdryer Ate My Mother-In-Law’s Head

Moving To Italy: Studying And Living 

A Little Somethin’ About M.E.

I was born and raised in Utah, USA. I grew up with a very young, single mother, and a conservative, “old world,” Persian father. After studying literature and sociology in university I moved to Italy to study art, and Italian language. After finishing the program I remained in Italy for various reasons but in reality I think I’m just a glutton for punishment. I married an Italian man and started the clichè story of culture conflict, evil in-laws, and making a huge ass of myself on a regular basis. I work from home as a freelance writer (then why don’t I have better grammar and punctuation skills? I DON’T KNOW), and spend an unhealthy amount of time trying to understand my surroundings which seems impossible. These people are fucking crazy.

I also write a column for The Florence Newspaper, an English speaking newspaper in Florence, as well as on DirtyFilthyThings, a blog of essays and short creative nonfiction stories. I own a design company, Ossimori, and I’m an artist (Mourning In Solidarity). My favorite animal is currently the Capybara. Please tell my husband that I need one. I’m currently writing a memoir. I cannot cook toast without burning it because if it isn’t obvious, I have a severe case of ADD. Aderol me.

This is M.E.

This is M.E.

60 thoughts on “M.E.

  1. So happy you found my blog, because it led me to yours, which is hilarious and excellent! (additionally, I used to bother my ex-boyfriend about getting me a capybara. I wonder if that’s why he’s now “ex”….)
    I have a hunch your expat adventures might finally give me the push I need to take the plunge!

  2. Thanks for stopping by and liking our blog – that gave me a chance to visit your blog and I LOVE IT! Your humor and energy are great! I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts and laughing at your stories. Anita @ No Particular Place To Go

  3. I’m really happy to have found your blog,it’s great to read such a frank account of your experiences – amixture of entertaining and horrifying! Just read about some of your experiences with your in-laws and it was jaw-dropping, I hope things are better now.

    • Well, it’s mutual because I kind of love yours too. Also, did you see that this shit just went viral! So many angry Italians (but also so many funny ones). Apparently I should move back to America. LOL. Cracking up over here.

      • woohoo! to be honest, sometimes it feels like no one can take a joke anymore (especially on the internet), its happened to me on many an occasion. Everyone gets offended all of the time – you just gotta roll with it. :) ps. I thought your post was funny and light, if people don’t get it well whatever… have a prosecco

      • I was thinking of writing a post titled, People Getting Mad When You Make A Joke. And then listing all of the comments with my commentary. It’s really interesting just HOW many people can’t laugh at things. My husband dismisses it as “now you know how many people have a brain cell left in each country.” Hilarious. Also, in case you were wondering, all Americans live on Chicken nuggets (said dude 2 minutes ago). I’ve responded by sending him a video of Miley Cyrus Twerking 40 times. Shit just got hilarious over here.

      • Also, it is REALLY SURPRISING how easy it is to offend people. I really assumed that people were more resilient and more able to laugh at themselves. Interesting lesson learned.

  4. I just found your blog yesterday (and ggnitaly84’s a few days ago!). I haven’t had a chance to read all your pages yet, but hope to this weekend.

    I just got back from Italy about 10 days ago. I was in Bologna and Florence (not long enough). Loved both places! I was traveling alone, which I liked most of the time (unless I would be traveling with a boyfriend/husband.) Now that I am back in the USA, I started thinking about moving to Italy (of course!) I didn’t meet many locals – only hotel staff (and the nice family who took me on a trail ride out in the country and a nice girl from Australia at a cooking class.) I am nursing a broken heart – and would have loved to have met an Italian guy. I’ve always been attracted to dark-haired, bearded men (I did marry an Italian guy years ago – only half Italian, only half the Italian traits-other half was Welsh, English.) Anyway, back to Italy – it seems like everyone smokes there – or it seems like all the men do. That is a big deal breaker for me. Do they all smoke? If so, I’ll have to look somewhere else to move to… :P

  5. Now that I have read more of your posts, smoking is probably the least of the issues I would have!

    Love your stories – and I certainly feel concern over your relationship with your in-laws (I am happy to see that there has been some improvement with them!) It brought back memories of an earlier relationship. His family was from a Slavic country, but he was born here (US). Yelling and arguing were normal, lots of aggravation. Our relationship deteriorated due to many things, but he was that way with me often. His mother was fine with me, but she could barely speak English. I did the best I could to understand her. I grew up in an unhappy family, so I moved away from my family as soon as I was in college. I’ve always been considered the one in the family who runs away (I am happy to agree!) I thought I met someone who was just like me. We got along great – very rarely fought – we had wonderful times. He was going to move in with me, but a new job came up and he moved to another state (and country now) and decided to end things after 2 1/2 years. I am still heartbroken, but looking to run away again – I need new scenery! However, it is all easier said than done. I have a house that I am trying to sell and animals (who are my kids, so they have to go with me, and there is a major hurdle there.) But, I have done this before and will likely do it again! You only live once (or, at least, that’s what I believe.)

    Do you argue in Italian with them?

  6. I am a Florence blog stalker (because it is my favorite place in the world although I’m stuck in California), but somehow just discovered your blog yesterday. Fortunately, I am on vacation and will have plenty of time to catch up with your stories of expat life. I married a Brazilian and have had my thongs ironed (and hand-washed!) by my mother-in-law, too :)

    • TeamGloria, Thank you! I appreciate it! Yes, seriously, the thong thing is a real thing. I was just as shocked as you the first time. In retrospect it’s kind of hilarious though (but still mildly traumatic). :) Hello LA!

  7. Hi! You are awesome and completely articulate everything I live on a daily basis. I live in Milan and have basically had the same life experience as you do, masochism and all traumas such as thong incident included. Let’s be friends (I mean we’re in Italy so it’s not creepy right)?

    • Creepy is pretty in right now so I’m into it. I wanted to say that I’m glad that someone out there can relate to all of the crazy/weird shit that has happened to me, but then I felt bad for being happy that you’ve had to experience some fairly weird, often traumatic stuff. LOL. Anyway, I am definitely glad to have “met” you and I’m happy that you’re enjoying the blog. ;)

  8. also, why are there no new posts? i think your blog is like therapy for me! and also i think the “american” sense of humor just doesn’t translate sometimes – i’m sure you know this – especially sarcasm…i however, think you are fabulously delightful!

    • Emilia, I know, I know, I’ve been slacking the past two weeks. I usually post 2-3 times per week but I had some family stuff/life stuff going on and fell behind. This week I’ll be back on it.

  9. I love your blog! If you don’t mind me asking, what is your degree in?
    It is my dream to go (back) to Italy and live there. I studied abroad in Rome and fell in love with the culture and the country in general. I am in my first year of college right now and having a tough time deciding my major…
    Tour guide, writer, blogger, web designer, English teacher, photographer… (all in Italy, of course) But my parents don’t approve of any of them! “There’s no ‘job security’ and you won’t make any money!”
    I don’t want to be poor, but I don’t want to be an unhappy scientist either!
    Do you have any advice?

    • Hello love! So, my education is really random. I have a BA in Sociology, a BA in English, and a grad year in Fine arts. Apparently I have ADD. My advice would be to find something you love. If you love multiple things pick something with the most flexibility. Honestly, I’d do journalism and web design or marketing nowadays. A while ago journalism was a terrible idea but with the internet, Buzzfeed, Upworthy, and a million online blogs, journals, etc., it’s a pretty decent and flexible career (that you can often do from home). I work as a writer. I’m totally NOT rich but I do just fine and I really love my job. Also, I have no business giving out life advice so you probably don’t want to listen to anything I say. Maybe check the job market for the different jobs and see what is best for you and the lifestyle you want. I’m sorry that I’m not more helpful. I don’t want to give you bad advice and then you come find me one day and tell me I ruined your life OR maybe your life will be badass and you’ll high-five me after you win an award for writing a story on the use of FB in times of war. Could go both ways.

  10. Hi – I got here after I Googled “Cassino nightlife” but then read some of your humourous dits.

    I’m in Cassino for a couple of nights – what the fuck is there to do?! Any good bars or clubs?

    Cheers,

    Rob

  11. I don’t know how I haven’t stumbled upon this before (and I even follow you on twitter). You are hilarious. I’m so excited to have found a blog where an expat is brave enough to post about the things all the rest of us are secretly thinking. Brava.

  12. Cannot begin to tell you how much i love what you have to say. And I’m oddly comforted by the fact that so many of the things that weird me out daily in Italy seem less weird when I read your take on them…anyway, thanks

  13. Your blog is very interesting. I love your posts. I’m an Italian girl who lives in England and reading your blog is a different way to improve my English. I also have a personal blog, in Italian. If you are interested, here is the link —> http://www.luana-abroad.co.uk

    Sorry for my grammar mistakes
    Luana

  14. Greetings from Montana, USA. First of all I am a street photographer age 70 I think you have a very beautiful face and furthermore a great example of American womanhood. I haven’t been to Italy for 28 years but after reading your blog I want to return for another visit. Cheers, If you have time please look at my street photographs Cheers and Best Wishes. Michael

    https://www.flickr.com/photos/7544019@N03/

  15. Your site and blog is amazing, funny, genuine and most informative. In my previous marriage, I have always wanted to see all of Italy and my EX did not. And so I made it a point to see Italy piece by piece and at my own pace. I have seen the good and bad sides of Italy. My overall take is that I embrace all of Italy. People, food, culture, and the scenery in every town and city is just magical and never cease to amaze me. Your blogs confirmed what I have experienced thus far and probably will experience in the future in Italia.

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