Home stories My Italian Husband Sings Christmas Songs And They Are Fucking Terrifying

My Italian Husband Sings Christmas Songs And They Are Fucking Terrifying

written by M.E. Evans December 23, 2013

My husband is kind of a scrooge. So much in fact that I recently nicknamed him Grinch McScroogeMiser. He’s not usually one for holiday cheer but since we’ve been to my mom’s he seems to be lightening up. My mom’s house resembles a Christmas village with every inch decorated and Christmas music blaring over the Christmas movies that play on repeat in the background. The cheer is somehow seeping into his icy cold scrooge heart and he’s been singing all day long. The songs are supposed to be Christmas songs, songs of joy and hope and materialism but you guys, since English isn’t his mother-tongue, his versions are just fucking terrifying.  I’ve asked him to stop singing before he traumatizes the neighborhood children.

“You better watch out. You better watch out. YOU BETTER WATCH OUT. YOOOU BETTER WATCH OUT! Santa Claus is coooomiiing to taaaaawn!”

Kids: Fucking. Run.

Scary Santa

Scary Santa (Photo credit: RaGardner4)

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5 comments

Expat Eye December 23, 2013 at 7:08 am

Ah, Monday morning laugh sorted! 🙂

Reply
Teresa December 23, 2013 at 3:12 pm

ahahaha love it!!

Reply
Janice Robinson December 23, 2013 at 3:19 pm

Refreshing commentary among the prechristmas chaos

Reply
ciondolino December 23, 2013 at 6:21 pm

Ask him to sing “Tu scendi dalle stelle”! (I’m Italian but live in Germany. Just found your blog and I want the book, like, now!)

Reply
Mani (A New Life In India) December 23, 2013 at 7:20 pm

Funny. I can picture it.

Reply

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